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  • Stop Self-Sabotage In Its Tracks

    Have you ever told yourself you were going to do something, but then turned around and made sure it wasn’t going to happen? That’s a great example of self-sabotage. Self-sabotage is all too common. Self-sabotage guarantees that you maintain the status quo, whether the status quo is good or bad. You’re naturally resistant to change.

    This sabotage is rarely intentional. We subconsciously do and say things that make success much less likely. You might accidentally fail to set your alarm cook and be late to an important interview as a result.

    Self-sabotage can be challenging to spot, but your friends and family are an excellent resource. It’s easier to spot in others.

    Stop Self-Sabotage In Its Tracks - Honest Convos with Carin and Marcia

    Learn more about self-sabotage and discover how you can get rid of its negative influences.

    Understand Self-Sabotage

    1. Self-sabotage is a form of control.

    When an outcome is uncertain, we can create certainty by failing intentionally. You can ensure the lack of a job offer by being late to your interview, rather than suffer from the lack of control that comes from waiting for that phone call after the interview.

    * Self-sabotage allows you to dictate the outcome, even though it might be negative.

    2. You can avoid change by sabotaging yourself.

    You might not like your current job, but you know everyone and how to navigate through the company. Familiarity is one form of comfort. A new job brings a lot of uncertainty.

    * You don’t know whether you’ll enjoy a new job or not. You don’t know whether you’ll like your boss or co-workers. You don’t know how much stress you’ll face.

    * Sabotaging yourself can keep you in your comfort zone, even if it isn’t very comfortable.

    3. You might feel that you deserve failure.

    Self-sabotage is common. It’s also comforting in its own way. Self-sabotage is also a great hindrance to progress and happiness. Repeated failures can ruin anyone’s attitude.

    Self-Love Reboot by Carin and Marcia

    Defeat Self-Sabotage and Lead a New Life

    1. Take a look at your past failures.

    When you made poor choices, consider your thoughts. Were they reasonable? No one is perfect, and you’re bound to make mistakes. However, when you do something you know is wrong, take note.

    * Do this for every “failure” you’ve had. Pay particular attention to your past actions. If you see signs of self-sabotage, ask yourself why you did it. Do you see a pattern?

    2. Determine appropriate behavior.

    After recognizing the times you’ve sabotaged yourself, determine what you should have done. Take the time to figure out what the best course of action would have been. Do this for each instance of self-sabotage you’ve noticed.

    3. Think about how much self-sabotage has cost you in the past.

    You’ve missed out on a lot because of self-sabotage. Do you make less money, have fewer friends, and live a less fulfilling life because you sabotage yourself? Realize how much you’ve cost yourself, and changing will be easier.

    4. How much has your self-sabotage harmed others?

    How have your friends, family, and other loved ones been affected? Living a small life has an impact on everyone around you. Give yourself effective reasons to change your behavior.

    Self-sabotage is a defense mechanism. Sabotaging yourself keeps you safe and in control, at the expense of making any real progress in your life.

    Stopping this pattern of behavior requires reflection, honesty, and a little courage. Examine your life for instances of self-sabotage, make the necessary changes to your behavior, and enjoy your resulting success!

  • Learning to Accept Yourself

    You may be surprised at how many people lack the ability to accept themselves for who they are. Many people are able to put on a front so they appear self-confident when they really aren’t.

    The good news is that, even if you’re one of these people, you can learn how to accept yourself. If you’re suffering from low self-worth and confidence, you really do have the ability to turn things around!

    Learning to Accept Yourself - Honest Convos with Carin and Marcia

    Why It’s Important To Accept Yourself

    It’s important to accept yourself because that one move can mean the difference between a life of happiness and a life of sadness. When you accept yourself, you’re more likely to accomplish more in your life.

    The reason is the fact that self-acceptance can be seen as a foundation. After you accept yourself, you can continue to build from there and add on: confidence, tranquility, enthusiasm, drive, and happiness.

    Steps To Acceptance

    There are many methods and tips that you’ll encounter on your way to acceptance, and you’ll soon find your own unique way of getting there.

    Try these strategies to help you accept yourself:

    1. Allow for mistakes.

    Sometimes you may try too hard to be perfect, and this in itself is another mistake. Allow yourself to make mistakes because you’re a human being. You’ll make small mistakes and big mistakes in life, but it’s how you bounce back from them that’ll make all the difference.

    2. Live in the present.

    The reason you haven’t accepted yourself could be the fact that you’re living your life in the past. Maybe you’re unable to forgive yourself for something that has happened or a certain trait that you have. Getting over the past is an important step to build confidence, self-respect, and hope for the future.

    3. Avoid comparing yourself to others.

    Others have different skill sets and life experiences, which may make you envious. In these situations, come to terms with the fact that you don’t have what they have. However, on the bright side, there are many things that you do have that they don’t.

    * Each and every person is unique. Be grateful for what makes you different from others, as this is part of your own inner beauty!

    Self-Love Reboot by Carin and Marcia

    4. Have realistic goals.

    If you don’t maintain realistic goals, you’re setting yourself up for failure. The truth is, you won’t even have a chance from the start! So instead, give yourself a reasonable chance to achieve your goals. How can you do this? By setting realistic and manageable goals that you can confidently achieve.

    5. Be comfortable in your own skin.

    Sometimes you don’t want to accept yourself because of the way you look. Society puts some serious pressure on people that way. Remember that people in magazines are usually unhealthy and airbrushed and you shouldn’t strive to look like them. Instead, focus on your positive attributes and overall health.

    6. Think positive thoughts.

    One of the most important accomplishments on the journey to accepting yourself is learning to think positively. It’s easy to forget how much power there is in thought.

    * If you make an effort to think a certain way, you can actually change your manner of thinking and, therefore, change your actions. Positive thinking leads to positive actions, which lead to feeling good about yourself.

    Help From Your Loved Ones

    Remember that you can always ask for help from your loved ones. It may help to get some outside perspective on your problems. You tend to be your own worst critic, but you can count on your loved ones for their generous support and love.

    Your loved ones have almost certainly accepted you for who you are. You’ll be happier once you’ve come to this same realization as well.

    Take these strategies to heart because, once you learn to accept yourself, you’ll find the world is a wonderful place and you’ll enjoy your place in it!

  • Developing More Compassion for Yourself

    Recent psychological studies are confirming the wisdom that has long been taught in Buddhism and other traditions — that developing more compassion for yourself will make you happier and more successful at reaching your goals.

    Whatever your spiritual beliefs are, you can relate to the reasons you should develop more compassion for yourself.

    Having compassion for yourself is a big part of self-love. Showing yourself compassion helps you bounce back when you have setbacks or failures. It also facilitates forgiveness and empathy for yourself and appreciation for your life’s journey.

    In this post, we’ll share some of the benefits of self-compassion and methods for attaining them.

    Developing More Compassion for Yourself - Honest Convos with Carin and Marcia

    Benefits of Having Compassion for Yourself

    1. Experience greater happiness.

    Self-compassion means valuing yourself and treating yourself well. You’re bound to feel better when you remove negative self-talk and become a better friend to yourself.

    2. Easily accomplish your goals.

    There’s no need to criticize yourself to eliminate bad habits. Accept your flaws and focus on action plans that are realistic for you. If you break your diet, start again with the next meal. If you’re denied one job opening, beef up your resume so you’re ready for the next opening.

    3. Become more resilient.

    Accept that life is full of ups and downs; take them in stride instead of being derailed by self-pity. You’ll bounce back faster when you realize that challenges and setbacks are as inevitable as rainy days.

    4. Feel more motivated.

    When you learn to value yourself, you’ll feel more committed to making investments in your future. Giving yourself the freedom to make mistakes reduces the anxiety that holds you back from trying new things.

    5. Feel more connected with others.

    The philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer suggested that we call each other “my fellow sufferer.” When we realize that we all want to be happy but we often need to become more skillful at creating happiness, we recognize how much we have in common with everyone around us.

    6. Express more compassion towards others.

    If you’re gentle with yourself, you’re more apt to carry that mindset into your interaction with loved ones and strangers. You’ll be mindful of the challenges we all face and have a stronger desire to help others.

    Self-Love Reboot by Carin and Marcia

    Methods For Developing More Compassion for Yourself

    1. Dispel the myths about self-compassion.

    You may associate being gentle with being lazy. But with compassion, you’re channeling your time and energy into constructive activities rather than beating up on yourself.

    2. Take charge of your emotions.

    Accepting disappointments as part of life enables you to remain at peace. You can accept your true feelings without letting them overwhelm you.

    3. Change your self-talk.

    We sometimes say things to ourselves that we would regard as too hurtful to say to anyone else. Focus on giving yourself practical suggestions rather than calling yourself names.

    4. Relax.

    Create an environment where you can generate compassion. Reduce stress and transition into a better frame of mind with meditation or some soft music.

    5. Treat yourself to something nice.

    Just like you bring a meal over to a sick friend, look for ways to be your own benefactor. Brew a cup of your favorite tea or commiserate with yourself if you get stuck in heavy traffic.

    6. Surround yourself with positive role models.

    If you feel like you’ve been conditioned to be harsh with yourself as the only way to get results, you may need to surround yourself with reminders to stay on your new path. Observe people who seem compassionate and adapt their methods to your own situation. Read books or take a workshop on compassion.

    It’s easier to overcome difficult situations when you learn to cherish and comfort yourself. Practicing self-compassion will bring you greater peace of mind and closer to your goals in business and in life.

  • 10 Affirmations To Boost Self-Love and Confidence

    There will likely come a time when you feel confused, unsure, and lacking in self-confidence (something we all can relate to!).

    It could happen at work, at home with family, or even when you’re with friends or neighbors. There’s no telling when you will be hit with doubt, fear, and negative thoughts that dampen your natural self-love.

    Luckily, you can remind yourself of your awesomeness with self-love and confidence affirmations that will put you back on track.

    10 Affirmations to Boost Self-Love and Confidence

    Say these statements to yourself when your confidence and self-love is waning:

    I’m allowed to feel however I feel.

    You’re a human being. Therefore, your thoughts or emotions will get the better of you from time to time. So, give yourself a break.

    I can take some time to figure this out.

    You have a right to have some moments away from the confidence-reducing situation to think it through.

    Because my life is full, I’m bound to experience lagging self-confidence.

    The more enriched your life is, the more likely it is that low confidence will occur. It’s impossible to be on top of your game one hundred percent of the time.

    I have a lot of positives in my life.

    It’s helpful to reflect on the high points of your existence. You may have a partner, kids, a job you love, and a home that’s comforting. Tell yourself that the positives may largely exist because of you, your choices and actions. Connecting with that thought will build up your confidence.

    My confidence has been strong during many important life events.

    Remind yourself that your confidence has been there for you whenever you needed it. Maybe it was when you were giving presentations in your business, discussing marriage with your partner, or preparing for a major project at work.

    SelfLoveReboot.com

    My self-confidence will bounce back like it usually does.

    Sure, you may have hit a bump along your journey, but it’s happened before and you recovered.

    I have what it takes to live a productive life.

    You know you possess the very essence of inner strength, courage, and confidence to think and create.

    I am successful.

    Think positively. If you adopt this statement as your personal mantra, you’ll be surprised at the things you can accomplish. What a way to boost your confidence!

    Think of some famous catch phrases like, “Just do it” or “Image is everything.” Then, make up a phrase that inspires you. Some examples are, “I’m hard-working” and “I can do anything I set my mind to.”

    I will re-discover my personal strength.

    It takes courage to admit to being unsure about what to do in a tough situation. But acknowledging your low confidence can lead you to having the strength to move forward one step at a time.

    I can seek out guidance if I wish.

    If your confidence reaches such a low that you’re struggling to go forward, talk with your partner, a friend, or even a life coach if you like.

    It’s helpful to receive some pointers from those familiar with fluctuating confidence levels.

    Refuse to allow a momentary lag in confidence to bring you down. You’re in control of your feelings and choices. Decide to say these statements to yourself to boost your confidence when needed. You’ll be on top of your game once again.

  • 8 Ways to Enhance Self-Love

    You’re probably too hard on yourself…. We ALL are! But the truth is that it’s much easier to make your way through the world if you love yourself.

    Perhaps the greatest struggle we all face is the struggle to accept and love ourselves in spite of our many flaws. Loving yourself fully and unconditionally isn’t something that’s likely to happen without a little work, though. As we grow we become programmed by the world to believe that we’re not enough. To constantly ridicule ourselves. To feel less than.

    So we have to then do the work of unlearning those harmful beliefs and returning to the self-love that is already present within us.

    8 Ways to Enhance Self-Love

    Love yourself more each day with these strategies:

    1. Give yourself an earnest compliment each day.

    Have you ever felt like you needed a compliment? Go ahead and give yourself one! Think about all your great qualities and congratulate yourself on one of them. There’s no reason to wait for someone else to get around to saying something nice. Give yourself a nice compliment right now.

    2. Make a list of your accomplishments.

    You’ve accomplished plenty of great things. Make a list of all of them. Be creative and give this exercise some thought. You’ll find that your life has been more impressive than you realized.

    Did you make the list? Don’t skip this! It’s important to show yourself the evidence of your awesomeness.

    3. Eat in a healthier manner.

    Take better care of yourself by making some changes to your diet. We could all use a little improvement in this department. You know which foods are healthy. Add a few of them to your diet and drop a few of the less healthy foods. Show yourself that you’re important. You wouldn’t feed junk food to your child or beloved pet. Give yourself the same level of importance.

    4. Support a cause you believe in.

    Spending time on something you think is important is a great way to show yourself that you’re a good person. You’ll feel better about yourself and put a smile on your face.

    SelfLoveReboot.com

    5. Be grateful.

    Appreciating what you have makes it easier to love yourself. No one enjoys being around a complainer. Think about your life and make a list of the things and people that fill you with gratitude. It’s surprising how much of a great life you already have.

    6. Forgive your past self.

    Sure, you’ve made some mistakes and probably done and said a few awful things along the way. But that period of your life is over now. Why drag the past into the present? You can make a fresh start each day. Let it go.

    7. Make one small improvement.

    As great as you are, you can be even better. Make one small change that will enhance your life in some way. Maybe it’s exercising for a few minutes each week or calling your mom once a week. Show yourself that you can grow and become a better version of yourself.

    Try these easy ideas:

    • Pay all of your bills on time.
    • Be more patient with your family.
    • Be on time for work each day.
    • Do five pushups each morning.

    8. Do one thing each day that makes you happy.

    If not today, when? There’s no time like the present to begin enjoying your life. Start taking those guitar lessons, finally get a dog, or volunteer at the local food bank. Start loving your life and yourself.

    BONUS! 9. Avoid people that drag you down.

    Odds are that at least one of your relationships is poisoning your life. It might be a friendship, romantic relationship, or a relationship with a family member. Value yourself enough to avoid negative people and relationships.

    You have many wonderful qualities that you’ve been overlooking. Believe that you deserve love from yourself and those in your life. A little self-love will enhance every part of your life.

    We talk about how we define self-love in Episode 004 of the podcast. Give it a listen here: Episode 004: How We Define Self- Love.

    In the Self-Love Reboot course, we distilled our best strategies from a combined 20+ years of personal development and self-growth work into the top tools and strategies you can use today to return to loving yourself fully and unconditionally.

    We tackle everything from limiting beliefs to introspection, self-efficacy, self-care, and more! This mini-course was designed in bite-sized lessons and downloadable lesson recaps – perfect for the busy woman on the go. Learn more, register, and get started today at SelfLoveReboot.com.

  • 11 Tips if You Struggle With Self-Love

    How can you be happy if you don?t love yourself? Having a high degree of self-love makes it easier to take good care of yourself.

    If you love and respect yourself, others are more likely to respect you, too. When you truly love yourself, you?re more gentle, kind, and considerate with yourself.

    Life can be hard. It?s even harder when you?re hard on yourself. Ideally, you are your biggest fan in life.

    11 Tips if You Struggle With Self-Love

    Use these ideas to show yourself more love:

    1. Make Sleep a Priority.

    Everybody needs sleep. When we don?t think very highly of ourselves, we often don?t get enough sleep. It?s easy for all the things and people in our lives to get our time and attention. This leaves too little time for sufficient sleep.

    2. Feed Your Body Better Food.

    If you don?t love yourself, you might not be eating as well as you should be. Show yourself that you?re a priority by giving yourself healthy food to eat.

    3. Feed Your Mind Better Things, Too.

    It?s not just your body. It?s your mind, too. Consider the thoughts, TV, and websites that you?re giving your mind to chew on. Are you spending your time the way you would want your 18-year-old child to spend his time?

    4. Exercise.

    Taking care of your body with exercise is a sign of self-love. You don?t have to train for a triathlon but get some exercise each day.

    5. Look Your Best.

    When people aren?t happy with themselves, their general appearance is one of the first things to slide. Give yourself the attention you need to look your best each day. Be the best-dressed and best-groomed person in the room wherever you go.

    SelfLoveReboot.com

    6. Make Time to Relax.

    Rest and relaxation are critical to enjoying life. Schedule time into your day to kick back and do whatever you enjoy.

    7. Forgive Yourself.

    It?s pretty tough to love yourself if you haven?t forgiven yourself for your past mistakes and failures. There?s nothing you can do about the past, so it only makes sense to let it go and forgive yourself. The things that happened in the past are best left there.

    8. List Your Best Qualities.

    Those lacking in self-love can quickly rattle off their shortcomings but struggle to identify their positive characteristics. Remind yourself of all the amazing qualities you have. Write down your positive qualities, even if they?re only slightly positive. List them all.

    9. List Your Greatest Triumphs.

    You?ve done some amazing things. Put pen to paper and write them all down. Go back to the beginning and relive your better moments.

    10. Separate From Those That Don’t Treat You Well.

    If someone in your life is a regular detractor, consider giving them their walking papers. There are so many people in the world that it doesn?t make sense to put up with someone that doesn?t treat you well.

    11. Start Making The Changes You’ve Been Avoiding.

    You have a good idea of the changes you?d like to make in your life. Let today to be the day you start implementing a few of those ideas.

    If you don?t love yourself, it’s hard to give and receive love from others. Treat yourself like you matter, and you?ll begin to believe that you do. Our beliefs can be led by our actions. We can change our beliefs to justify our behaviors. Put your attention on your strengths and successes. Take care of your mind and body.

    You?re the only person you have 24/7. Everyone else is available on a limited basis. So, make yourself a priority in your life. You?ll be glad you did!

    We talk about how we define self-love in Episode 004 of the podcast. Give it a listen here: Episode 004: How We Define Self- Love.

    In the Self-Love Reboot course, we distilled our best strategies from a combined 20+ years of personal development and self-growth work into the top tools and strategies you can use today to return to loving yourself fully and unconditionally.

    We tackle everything from limiting beliefs to introspection, self-efficacy, self-care, and more! This mini-course was designed in bite-sized lessons and downloadable lesson recaps – perfect for the busy woman on the go. Learn more, register, and get started today at SelfLoveReboot.com.

  • The Secret to Having More Self-Love

    You?re probably familiar with self-help books and talk show hosts who tell you to love yourself, but you may be wondering how to go about having more self-love.

    While your relationship with yourself is the most important connection in your life, it?s easy to forget about nurturing it.

    However, self-love and compassion are too important to neglect because they shape your experiences and relationships with others. Now, more than ever, you must protect your health and wellbeing by making positive changes in the way you think about and treat yourself.

    The Secret To Having More Self-Love

    Changing the Way You Think about Yourself to Have More Self-Love

    Maybe you?re hard on yourself or you?re so busy with external obligations that you rarely consider your personal priorities. Looking inward could help you to value yourself more.

    Try these strategies to help you think more highly of yourself:

    1. Accept Yourself.

    Know that you are worthy of love and respect just the way you are this moment. Embrace yourself with all your strengths and weaknesses.

    2. Clarify Your Purpose.

    Invent your own definition of success. Ask yourself what a meaningful life means to you, even if that answer changes over time.

    3. Talk Yourself Up.

    How do you speak to yourself? Choose words that are encouraging and uplifting. Use your internal dialogue to build your confidence and manage your emotions.

    4. Offer Forgiveness.

    Let go of the past so that you can move on. Take any decisions that you regret and turn them into opportunities to learn. Make amends where possible and resolve to handle things more constructively in the future.

    5. Avoid Comparisons.

    Facebook didn?t invent social comparisons, but social media has increased the potential for envy and inferiority complexes. Try competing with your last performance instead of living up to someone else?s standards. You?ll accomplish more if you dare to be yourself.

    6. Think Positive.

    Looking on the bright side and being able to laugh at yourself makes you even more loveable. It also helps you to manage stress and deal with difficult circumstances.

    SelfLoveReboot.com

    Changing the Way You Treat Yourself to Have More Self-Love

    Do your actions match your beliefs? You might say you love yourself, but your actions could be sending a different message.

    Try these techniques to treat yourself kindlier:

    1. Practice Self-Care.

    Develop habits that keep your mind and body fit and strong. Go to bed early and exercise each day. Eat a balanced diet and watch your weight.

    2. Choose Friends Wisely.

    Surround yourself with family and friends who encourage and support you. Cultivate close relationships with others who share your goals. Engage in deep conversations where you can share your feelings and receive validation.

    3. Pursue Your Passions.

    Identify the activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. Block out time each day for something you love, whether it?s a task related to your job or something you do in your leisure time.

    4. Set Goals.

    Give yourself something to strive for. Working towards realistic and challenging goals builds your confidence as you add to your achievements.

    5. Maintain Boundaries.

    Know your limits so you can define what behavior you consider acceptable. That may include physical boundaries such as needing your own space and psychological boundaries such as being entitled to your own feelings and opinions.

    6. Advocate For Yourself.

    Once you understand your needs, you can communicate them to others. You?ll grow more skillful as you practice being direct and tactful in letting someone know if they cross your boundaries.

    7. Seek Support.

    Ask for what you need. Let others know specifically what they can do, whether you?re looking for practical assistance like pitching in with housework or just a friendly ear to listen while you sort out your feelings.

    Loving yourself can help you to enjoy more happiness, overcome challenges, and build healthier relationships with others. Make it a habit to treat yourself with kindness and respect.

    We talk about how we define self-love in Episode 004 of the podcast. Give it a listen here: Episode 004: How We Define Self- Love.

    In the Self-Love Reboot course, we distilled our best strategies from a combined 20+ years of personal development and self-growth work into the top tools and strategies you can use today to return to loving yourself fully and unconditionally.

    We tackle everything from limiting beliefs to introspection, self-efficacy, self-care, and more! This mini-course was designed in bite-sized lessons and downloadable lesson recaps – perfect for the busy woman on the go. Learn more, register, and get started today at SelfLoveReboot.com.